One Parent’s Story
Nov 03 2009My name is Julie Day. I am a parent from New Hampshire. I am also a member of the National Alliance of Children’s Trust and Prevention Funds Parent Partnership Council. I am very excited to attend the Strengthening Families Leadership Summit. Eight years ago I had two small children with one on the way. I had just moved to a new town and it was in the middle of the winter. I was feeling very isolated. A neighbor stopped by to tell me about a family resource/ respite care center in our neighborhood. At first I did not go because I was too proud. I thought if I went it meant that I could not take care of my family myself. I did end up checking it out and use it periodically.
The birth of my third child did not go as planned, and my life was turned upside down for a while. If it had not been for The Children’s Place and Parent Education Center I do not know what I would have done. I learned it was okay to ask for help and it does not make you any less of a parent. I also learned different parenting skill and what to look for with my children’s development.
The Children’s Place gave me so much. It was a place of social and emotional connection for me as well as place for my children to play with children their own age. So many times as I was going through issues with my children, I would go to the teachers for advice. I was asked to volunteer on the child care floor, and then they asked me to be a director (volunteer position). I was thrilled to be wanted and needed in an adult role. And it got me out of the house a few hours a month for some adult conversation. I learned so much that has helped me with my current job.
I learned more over the 5 years I attended the program than I ever thought I could. The community that I belong to gave me more than I could have ever imagined. I ended up going back to school and getting my BS in Human Services. I now go around to different parent groups around the state and teach parents how to advocate for themselves, their families and their community. I also bring in speakers on subjects that the parents want to learn more about.
I was at a parent group one evening and I was there to talk about the 5 Protective Factors. A new parent to the group was there. She was going through a really tough time and had to make some pretty hard decisions for both her and her child. This was very emotional for her and the group. The leader of the group finally turned and said that I was here to talk to the group about the Protective Factors. I stated that I was not really sure if they wanted me to present or if they just wanted to keep supporting the mom in need. She (the mom) told me to go ahead.
What happened next really changed my mind on what information I really want the parents to walk away from at any given presentation. I started talking about the 5 Protective Factors and the mom transformed in front of me. As I was discussing each one she would get a little taller and say, “I do that!!” By the time I was over she said, “I do all of those, I am good Mom.” She walked out with a new sense of pride.
I think it is so easy to get caught up in the day to day process of what we are doing as a parent that we forget to see all the good we do and handle on a daily basis. The reason for wanted to go to the Strengthening Family Summit is to learn more information and techniques to share with parents. We hear all the time all the wrong parents do, and it is nice to help them see all the positive things they do - from having a coffee with or without a friend, joining a book group, asking developmental questions about children or teaching them how to share are all Protective Factors we do to keep our children safe and our families strong. As a parent, I constantly have to remind myself that what I am doing is the right thing. It is nice to have the Protective Factors to fall back on as a guide.
